Archive for the ‘Ashlee Simpson’ Category

If you want to see Ashlee Simpson in a bikini..

January 8, 2007

Then it’s your lucky day! The really famous celebrities haven’t been doing much these last few days, so I’m resorting to putting up a half-nude picture of stinky Ashlee Simpson on my blog. I’m not sure that anyone really likes her, is attracted to her, or even cares that she is still around.. however, she looks pretty decent in a bikini. Minus the bruises. So. Here it is. And here’s to hoping this next week will be way more eventful.

Jessica Simpson wants to be Britney Spears

December 26, 2006

 

I have no clue where Jessica Simpson is from and quite frankly I don’t care. Let me just say this: never before has Jessica talked like Britney Spears until now. All of the sudden Jessica is completely southern? Uh-huh. She’s just an idiot. I haven’t noticed Ashlee Simpson having a crappy southern accent. So what gives? Anyway, the little airhead posted a “message” to her “fans” on her official website over the weekend wishing them a Merry Christmas. Read it, it’s lame.

happy holidays to all of my fans. i am spending much needed family time in the colorado rockies. i send y’all my genuine huge smile hoping it makes its way to brighten your christmas day…very dorky rhyme, but hey what can i say…i am a dork. daisy doesn’t enjoy the role of santa in this picture, but the idea was just too cute to resist. i love all of y’all with my whole heart and my hope is for each and every one of your christmas wishes to come true.

thank you for always inspiring me to be better in everything that i do.

xo jess

all of y’all? WTF is that shit? You know, if she could just get her shit together for five seconds.. do I like John Mayer do I not? Am I a pop singer or not? Did I lip sync on SNL or do I have acid reflux? Wait.. I think I’m getting the idiot sisters confused. Anyway. She’s an idiot!

Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas!

ashlee simpson is still dumb.

November 26, 2006

You know what I think? I think Ashlee Simpson is a little faker. She put out her debut album, “I Am Me” in hopes to tell the world about how she was treated like trash as a kid, always living in the shadow of her more beautiful and talented older sister, Jessica. She wants us to believe that, because she died her hair black and now wears converse, that even though her parents are rich as hell and she has every thing she’s ever wanted, she has lived an emotionally terrible childhood. Bitch, get over it. I hate it when celebrities whine about their “problems” and expect listeners to really give a shit. It’s funny because Ashlee claimed she was soo different than Jessica, and that she didn’t want to sing pop music, blah blah blah. And after the release of her second album, “L.O.V.E.”, she gets plastic surgery on her nose and chin (and probably her chubby, little sister body) and comes out with this shiteous album “Invisible.” Her music video for the song Invisible is her wearing a bra and boxing shorts in a boxing ring. Does she know that Hilary Swank is the only woman in Hollywood to pull this off? And anyway, the song sucks and the music video just made it more shitty. I lost respect for Ashlee a long time ago. Not when she got caught lip-syncing on SNL.. no, that sucked but what pissed me off was when she blamed it on her band. “MY BAND STARTED PLAYING THE WRONG SONG AND.. [EXCUSES, EXCUSES, EXCUSES!]” That is really low. Your band gets paid one percent of what you do, they follow your skanky ass around the country, listening to you bitch and moan about your horrible life, and they remain nothing but loyal to you in hopes of breaking out one day. But then you, Ashlee, go and blame your fuck-up on them? Not cool. I think Ashlee and Jessica are probably two of fakest THE MOST FAKE girls in Hollywood. And they go home every night to their weirdo daddy and they all have satanic sayances. Yep, that’s what happens. They’re evil!

I can’t believe.. & Isn’t it strange..

October 31, 2006

I can’t believe…

  • that Katie Holmes really loves Tom Cruise.. no, really, I can’t believe it.
  • Reese Witherspoon didn’t break up with Ryan Phillippe’s jealous ass earlier than this
  • Bob Saget has a new gig on a crappier than crappy, extremely hyped up game show
  • in Scientology based soley on the idea that they believe in Aliens. Whatever.
  • that Lindsay Lohan would ever forgive Paris Hilton for laughing so rudely when Brandon Davis trash talked her, and her parts below.. (“Firecrotch!”)
  • in the idea that Ashlee Simpson actually does a good job as Roxie Hart in Chicago. Yeah, right.
  • in Jessica Simpson, her music, or the fact that she didn’t cheat on Nick Lachey. She’s such a big-head.
  • Helen Hunt won an Oscar for As Good As It Gets. She’s a horrible actress. Period.
  • that Keith Urban is in rehab for alcohol addiction but Nicole Kidman isn’t in rehab for anything. I mean, come on.
  • Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton are finally friends again.
  • how mean all of the Carters are to one another on the reality show House of Carters.
  • MTV is growing so much that they now have MTV 3. Is that necessary?
  • that Perez Hilton hates Jennifer Aniston so much, but he loovees her MAN HANDS!
  • Dateline NBC’s show To Catch A Predator isn’t more popular.. It’s fabulous.

Isn’t it strange…

  • how freakishly skinny Victoria “Posh Spice” Beckham is?
  • that all the couples that have had their own reality shows on MTV have ended up divorcing? (Carmen & Dave, Jessica & Nick, and Travis & Shanna..)
  • that people are still interested in American Idol? Isn’t it on it’s like, 9th season?
  • that Kelly Clarkson thinks she’s big enough to be a diva and talk shit on real celebrities? Bitch, let’s not forget you became famous from a reality show. KTHX.
  • that Anna Nicole Smith had a baby out of no where and she was never photographed being pregnant?
  • how Katie Couric looks like an alien on CBS but always looked pretty decent on NBC?
  • that Lindsay Lohan had a paranoid attack in her car on Sunday morning around 7ish? (Still partying at 7am and you get paranoid? Maybe that’s because you need sleep. And probably a sandwich, crazy ass.)
  • Carnie Wilson has gained almost all of her weight back since she has G.B. surgery and was on Howard Stern after she got skinny?
  • Fabulous got shot and no one really cared? Haha.
  • That Mischa Barton was photographed going apeshit, crying a river in her car and no one knows why?

All for now. Anything to add, anyone??