Well, at first I didn’t hate her, you know? At first I really wanted to like her. Mean Girls was a great movie and she did a really good job. I liked how she stayed true to her contract with Disney… making all those teen movies. It was refreshing. I thought of her to be someone like Reese Witherspoon. (I’m sorry Reese, had I known then what I know now, I’d never have compared her to you!) But it seems like ever since she got pretty famous, she’s been doing horribly outrageous things just for attention.. They say all attention is good attention, or something to that effect, but I, as an avid media-goer, do not feel that way. I feel like Lindsay Lohan is continually doing things just for attention, no matter how sad, pathetic, degrading, and low they are. It’s absolutely sad. A tiny part of me.. I mean the size of an ant, feels sort of bad for her. She has a weird relationship with her mom.. Are they mother & daughter or are they enablers to eachother? I don’t know. But I just am so sick of hearing about her. And if she’s always doing weird ass stuff, I have to write about her because that’s what I do.. but still, it’s really quite tiring! I just want her to clean her act up, you know? Anyway. Here are some of my main arguments on why Lindsay is a snotty brat!
When Lindsay was at the GQ party recently, she saw her old assitant there with Jessica Biel. Then she threw a tantrum. Since I was not there and probably never will be there, I rely on the people at Page Six, and they have written:
… she “flipped out” upon seeing Jessica Biel there with her assistant.. According to a witness, Lohan started screaming, “If she stays, I’m outta here! I can’t look at that girl! I can’t believe you would allow an assistant in here – she doesn’t belong in here!” “It was really uncalled for,” said our spy. “Jessica and everyone else ignored her … Jess didn’t steal anyone’s assistant – her assistant stopped working for Lindsay a long time ago. And whatever drama happened, Jess was no part of it. She is not part of [Lohan’s] crowd – she is a professional.”
Recap: “She is not part of [Lohan’s] crowd – she is a professional.” BURN. BURN CITY. That was the best thing that could be said! And while it was said super polite, I think we all know what it really means! Here it is!
Jessica Biel needn’t worry her pretty little head about slutty Lindsay Lohan. She’s making real movies that make big marks at the box office. She doesn’t need to sleep around for attention. She gets attention from being beautiful and talented. Thats real.. REAL, REAL son.
So true. Okay now more on the GQ party where Lindsay made an ass out of herself. She gets burned by Will Ferrell. I mean, come on, if Will Ferrell (the funniest guy alive, quite possibly) is burning you, you know you’re a piece of shit. Honestly.
Lohan was shunned at the glittering affair by other celebs who are tired of her bratty antics and bad work ethic. Overhearing her tirade about Biel’s assistant, Will Ferrell turned to DiCaprio, Gore and Affleck and said, “Who cares about that freak anymore, anyway?” – setting off laughter. Later, Lohan, with a champagne glass in her hand, tried flirting with Leo, to no avail.
BURN! That’s a burn over a burn, with burn ointment on it, then covered up with a burn bandaid! Big burn! While I realize Leo probably gets a lot of chicks, he has continually been shunned from the Acadamy and his great work is often overlooked. With that said, this makes him sort of a weenie. Lindsay Lohan, being a frustrated coke-whore, just knows that he was in Titanic, isn’t sure if he’s had a movie since then, but remembers how popular Titanic got, and really wants to hook up with him! Then, Will Ferrell burns her, and basically all the real celebrites that were there, heard the burn and loved it! Now Will Ferrell is funnier, and Lindsay Lohan is even sadder! And now I can sleep at night 🙂
Now, moving on to more reasons I am disgusted by Lindsay Lohan. The Post originally had this story, but I got my version from one of the best site’s ever, WWTDD. Here, it is written that AFTER LYING ABOUT GOING, Lindsay Lohan is in AA. Hey man, if you’re an alcoholic, get help. I’m not hating on AA. What I am saying, however, is QUIT LYING. It makes those who are in AA feel ashamed that you can’t admit it, you know? Anyway, I think it’s also pretty ironic that Lindsay’s mom is talking about Lindsay going to AA when Dina is an alchy too. Here’s the stuff:
A friend of Lohan confirmed, “She has attended several meetings and has hopefully decided to turn her life around – this time for good. She is out of control.” Lohan skipped Thanksgiving with her mom, Dina, and her family because she knew “someone would force an intervention on her.” So Dina – who likes a party almost as much as her wild-child daughter – has arrived in L.A. to convince Lindsay to stay home some nights.
Enough said about that. Next, I hate Lindsay because she bought diamond encrusted gold handcuffs. I’m not saying handcuffs aren’t a fancy fetish, but what I’m saying is.. she just bought them to get photographed with them, so she could have more attention on her. Doesn’t that piss anyone off besides me? Someone should handcuff her to Paris and make them fight it out. I like that idea. Okay next.
When Robert Altman died, she wrote a letter to his family. Normally when someone passes, you write a letter sending your deepest sympathy and condolences. Oh, but not Lindsay! Always trying to stand out, even when someone has died! She wrote a really weird letter, which you can read on Perez Hilton. I, however, have taken the best part of the letter to save those who don’t like to read garbage, a lot of time. At the end of the weird letter, she writes:
Words, once again, escape me. But I think we’re all thinking something along the same lines.
Moving right along. I watched this video on TMZ over and over and over. It’s the one where Lindsay and Paris are in the club, and Paris is giving Britney directions to get there. You should really watch this. Because there’s probably about two seconds of the video that just say it all. Watch the video up until the part where Paris is on her cell phone, and in the background you can see a glimpse of Lohan. Just look at the expression on her face. It’s worth a thousand words. She looks just like she’s the nerd in high school that got asked to hang out with the pretty girls. She’s knows its not going to last but she’s soo happy. You’ll see what I mean. Anyway, the rest of the video is boring. Apparently while in the club, there was a fight and Paris was heard yelling at Lindsay, “you’re a fucking coked-out whore; don’t ever say you’re my friend again!” Then if you watch the video until the end, you can hear Paris yell over the fence at her house, “Tell Firecrotch she’s no longer welcome!” (or something like that.) It’s really fabulous. I think it’s worth watching, just to see Lindsay’s pathetic expression when she is with Paris.
Next, the thing about saying Paris hit her. WTF? She either hit you or she didn’t. You either did too many lines of coke and lied, or you didn’t. What is it, Linds? Here’s the story, credited to WWTDD again. She first said:
“…I’m saying this on tape, (Paris Hilton) hit me last night, for no reason apparently, at my friends house and I didn’t know she’d be there, and she hit me, and she hit me with a drink and she poured it all over me and it hurts and it’s not okay and … I’m sorry for everyone who thinks I’m crazy, I’m not … I’m just trying to act.”
And then the next day she said:
“Paris never hit me. She’s my friend. Everyone lies about everything. … Please, stop trying to make us hate each other.”
Humph. Exactly. Even she doesn’t know what happened. While I think Paris Hilton can probably pack a punch when she’s loaded full of Vodka and rich-girl anger, I really don’t think she’d waste her time on Lohan.. not to hit her at least.
Also, she wraps up her wrists. Is she a cutter? Isn’t she a cutter? Either way, that’s a serious thing and if she’s not, she shouldn’t pretend to be so she can get attention.
So those are my arguments for now. What do you think? Is she evil or decent?