Sometimes.

Sometimes I just..

  • I just want to be apologized to, without having to hint around at it or beg for.
  • I don’t want to have to ask for help on trivial chores, I just want help because it’s not just one person’s duty.
  • I just want to hear, “It was my fault” without a pissy attitude or a storm out.
  • I need to hear, “You look great” and “I want you to come home”
  • I need my side to be taken, for once, instead of laughing at me with everyone else.
  • I just want the roles to be reversed so my side is seen
  • I can’t help but be frustrated when I feel mistreated.
  • I want to scream when I think of a certain phone call
  • I am very insecure and need reassurance, what is so wrong with that?
  • I forget how young I am and how young we are, I just want to feel young
  • I can’t stand just watching TV for hours straight and it drives me insane
  • I can’t believe how manipulating and backstabbing many of my former friends have turned out to be.
  • I just need alone time. Enough said.

Today wasn’t neccessarily a bad day, but not really a great day either. I went to my lit class this morning (I got my mid-term back and scored a wonderful 103/100 on it) then to the mall before my math class. I picked up some great chocolate colored pants, jeans, and some other stuff. Then I headed to my math class and came home. So that part of the day was pretty good, I’d say.

But then I came home and was jocked for no reason by my fiance. So I was upset, since I had no provoked this, and left. After over three hours of being gone, I came home. He apologized but somehow, I still feel mad. It’s like, I did nothing to be jocked and then on top of not trying to get me home or showing any remorse that I was driven to leave, he acted very aloof when he apologized; almost like he was apologizing just to smooth things over but that he wasn’t really sorry for jocking me.

Blah. It’s really quite silly and, like my mom alway says, “if [I] had a real problem, then [I] wouldn’t worry about this kind of nonsense.” I’m not even hormonal or anything, I just feel extra sensitive right now. I feel like I’ve apologized and stepped forward so many times lately, and taken a lot of stuff that I have just let slide, that tonight I really deserved a “Hey honey, I’m sorry I was a jerk, let me make it up to you..” type of thing. But I guess not?

Anyway, I think I’m going to run to the market right now and get some Diet Pepsi. No matter what is going on in my life, Diet Pepsi cures all!

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4 Responses to “Sometimes.”

  1. Matt (the fiance) Says:

    Hey honey, I’m sorry I was a jerk, let me make it up to you.. we have a 3 day weekend that we will make the best of 🙂 I love you! You’re Amazing!

  2. The Boy Who Likes To... Says:

    Isnt it suppose to be “alcohol cuers all”?

    Congrats on the lit results. Well done!

  3. Amy Says:

    Aww swetie. Sometimes boys just don’t get it though.

    Diet Pepsi is goodness though..or cherry coke. Feel better and enjoy your weekend.xxx

  4. Amy Says:

    Damn it! There’s meant to be an extra ‘e’ in sweetie..I am that dumb most of the time!

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